I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize