when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
