I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
