You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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