Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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