names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i think i just lost a toe
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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