I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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