what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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