I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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