Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
