I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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