shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
