I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
