Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He had one of those small greek statue penises
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
