And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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