She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
