Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
