i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Text me some of your sweat
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
