Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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