My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
