Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
