the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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