I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
