"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
