he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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