I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
