I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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