how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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