you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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