Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
