I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
