Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
