I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
