Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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