Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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