Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize