she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
