North Korea, Best Korea!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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