Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize