You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
