So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Can vaginas get frostbite?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
