I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
