too bad you live with your parents still
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
