Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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