i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
