i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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