Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Randomize
