I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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