When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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