We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
