i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
