Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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