Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You have to summon your inner elephant
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
