I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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