A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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