How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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