Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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