I'm going to jail i love you
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
