You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
