you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
