I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
