Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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