So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
