I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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