my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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